Back then I use to think it was me, the reason we didn’t work out completely.

I felt that you were my blessing, there was no second guessing for my thoughts were concreted in my heart.

Time went on but still I knew.

It was you that I was meant to love.

Thinking that heaven above proclaimed you to be he but it was me who said that it should be and so it was.

It was fun while it lasted, the spell broken once casted.

It’s time for the realness, I mean my newness to arrive.

I take a sledge hammer to that concrete and break up the memories of you and I ’cause those memories of what use to be but what use to be was always just a fallacy.

You did me a favor truthfully and wonderfully brought me closer to my savior!

That is what I am taking from this and oh yea the thought of my love that you will surely miss.

With a kiss good-bye to send you on your way. A started a new chapter and closed the one about you today!


©Brandi Anderson

Being the “fairer” sex, being called insecure isn’t odd for women.  Most of us have been called insecure by a person we’ve dated at least once in our dating life.  However, the renaissance of the woman has given women more confidence in going for what they want and need, not taking no for an answer.  Men on the other hand have become less aggressive with life as a whole and taking on some meek traits that aren’t favorable to what was once known as being a man.  Now before you jump down my throat, I am not talking about all men but I will say that there are plenty of insecure men out in this world and it makes dating hard.

I have dated insecure men before in the past and I have a couple that are friends.  These men are attractive and have no reason to be insecure but just like beautiful women who were made to feel less than by their insecure man, the same has happen to these men.  I try to look back on the relationships with the men I had that were insecure.  I wanted to see if there was anything that I did that made them feel insecure.  One in particular brought about his own insecurities because he was the one cheating.  His mind was playing tricks on him and whenever I went out with the girls, didn’t answer my phone or stayed later at work than planned.  He would think I was out getting him back because that is what he felt he deserved. The other men I dated that were insecure didn’t cheat but they were cheated on and one was an older man.  Men think it is hard to date a woman that has been hurt in the past but I can honestly say men that have been hurt in the past our worse to deal with than women.  Men seem to take it harder, sometimes changing their entire character just to not get hurt again. Some men become less aggressive and don’t assert themselves in a relationship once they have been hurt by women.  (Side Note) Ladies, the words you speak to your man are very, very powerful.  If this man loves and adores you, trust me when I say that you have the power to build him up and to make him think that he is superman.  Don’t be afraid to love him and to puff him up.  Build him up with your words and don’t tear him down with them.

Back to the matter at hand, insecure men.  Ladies, in the beginning of dating we need to ask all of the important questions that we can.  Ask about their dating life and why some relationships ended.  If you two have gotten really close and are seeing a great deal of each other, don’t settle for the “It just didn’t work out” answer.  Try to find out if he has trust issues, pay attention to the signs:


Excessive texting or Calling (esp when he knows that you are busy)

Not wanting you to go out

How he handles your male friendships

How he handles your female friendships

His reaction to when you receive a text message or phone call

Him paying more attention to your social media accounts than you do

His need for constant approval from you

When he creates an argument out of nothing

Also when he puts you down


The way that I have dealt with insecure men in the past is that I looked at all that I was doing.  I made sure that I wasn’t behaving in a way to make him insecure.  I also reassured him that I was not the last woman he dated and that he should trust me based on my efforts and not something he experienced in the past.  When all else failed, I moved on.  I will not stay in something where there is no trust.  Contrary to popular belief, relationships aren’t built on the foundation of Love but they are built on the foundation of trust.  Love comes later.  Love is an action and much easier to perform than trust.  Think about it.


Until next time…


© Brandi Andersoncropped-jan-17.jpg

Arm picPeople often ask me how I get my arms so shapely and besides given the usual answer of genetics I also have a diet that is rich in protein.  Eating protein throughout your day will result in your muscles being fed properly.  Keep in mind that if you aren’t working out regular, weight lifting, the protein will store as fat.  You can’t get the benefits of protein in your muscles if you aren’t tearing them up.   My work schedule is the basic 9 – 5 but within that 9 – 5 I am very busy.  So what I have committed myself to was having a regular sized oatmeal from Tim Horton’s every morning and I snack on that all morning.  It keeps me full for the most part and gives me what I need. Throughout my day, I try to make sure I have a source of protein in each of my meals. Like today, I will have baked chicken with steamed veggies and roasted potatoes for dinner.

For a meat source, my diet mostly consist of chicken.  I eat baked and broiled chicken breast.  I will also bake and broil other parts of the chicken during the week to help me achieve my lean protein meals. I also eat fish.  My favorite being Salmon but for those who don’t like the strong taste, Tuna is a great option to get your lean protein.  Beef is also high in protein but it is high in fat and cholesterol as well.  If you have a family history of high cholesterol and high blood pressure you should keep your beef intake to once a week or once in a while.  Don’t risk your health trying to get healthy.

Now even though I am talking about protein in this article, I can’t forget to tell you about carbs.  You must have Carbohydrates.  They are your primary source for energy, Fats are second and I think of protein as more of a repair and rebuild source than energy.   Your raw fruits are a great source of Carbohydrates. You will also find carbs in just about everything you snack on except for meat and vegetables (low amounts found in veggies) it depends on what types of carbs you are eating.  You want to get more complex carbs than simple carbs.  Simple carbs should be used as treats on your cheat days but if you do happen to indulge in some simple carbs treat during the week, keep them at a minimum and include them in your daily allowed calorie intake.  But you will need carbs to get through your day so don’t neglect them.  I will talk more about Carbs and Fats in another article.

Exercises I do that impact my arms are:

Arm Curls

Push Ups

Lat Pull Downs

Delt Rows

Tricep Dips

Dumbbell Squats (I have modified them to include an arm and back workout)


If you have any questions don’t hesitate to contact me at:


Until next time.  Be More, Love More, Encourage More, and Aspire to Be More


©Brandi Anderson

This was a short story I wrote almost 10 years ago.  Who knows, maybe I will write a part 2.  Tell me what you think.


Smooth music playing in the background as I wrap my lips around my straw, just enough to suck the potent liquid contained in the glass but not too hard to ruin my lips.

Ahh!!! Home girl know she hooked my Long Island up, just the way I like it, a little lime, lots of rum and you can’t forget the vodka, all top shelf.

I turn to watch the dance floor because it’s ballroom night.

We have the usual players, the kat with the matching hat, suit, and shoes. He just doesn’t know how much of a fool he looks, but hey if he likes it I love it.

Then we have the kat with the pony tail and he is balding in the front. Some people just don’t know when to give it up.

Then we have the kat who has it together. I mean he smells good, looks good, and speaks well. I love a man who can speak. He has on his light blue linen suit, bald shinny head, and a go-tee that drives all the women crazy when he looks their way.

We spoke a few times, just honest flirting but I wasn’t looking to get anything from it.

But today, brother man had it going on.

My girl finally walks in the door like she isn’t late and I told her to sit her procrastinating ass down and have a drink.

She proceeds to tell me about how her day went and how every man she passed today wanted her number. This is truly a typical day for her because my girl is fine but tonight I wasn’t paying to much attention to the conversation, I  was starring at “light blue”. So as soon as she was finished talking she caught a glimpse of who I was looking at and said “girl is that….” I said “yes it is T, that is Mr. Light Blue himself.” You see, my girl never met him before and I am sure she would like to get to know Light Blue, but I had to let her know, he is mine tonight. I told her to go mess with pony tail or matching man. Of course she saw a brother that fits her taste….the man who is buying all the drinks. That’s T, you gotta love her, there is no one like this woman.

So now once again I am at the bar alone but I know I won’t be for long. Because what I didn’t tell you is that as I was watching Light Blue dance the dance he does so well, he was looking at me too. So I fix myself, make sure the boobies are up and smiling, make sure the hair isn’t all frizzie, and I definitely make sure the breath is right as he is walking across the dance floor towards me. As he is walking, I can just hear music playing, it’s not the music in the club but it is his own music. Yes y’all, he has his own theme music, well, he does to me anyway. As he approaches me, he doesn’t look at me from head to toe but focuses on my eyes, he proceeds to ask me ”Why don’t you dance?”  I say, “baby I do dance, I just don’t ballroom but if you would like to teach me, you have to take it slow.”

He smiles and say’s, “Girl you got some game, but I will take it as slow as you need.”  He grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor. My girl Janet song was just finishing up, “Enjoy Yourself” and the Temptations version of “Some Enchanted Evening” came on.

This is one of my favorite songs and perfect to ballroom to. He whispers in my ear “Just follow me, let me lead you just be free”. We start close and I can feel his chest up against mind. He takes two steps back, so I follow, he spins me out, and I flow with it. He twirls me back in but now I am behind him. He steps slowly to the right, and spins me to the right. We dance like this through the entire song and I am thinking to myself, “You are ballrooming girl.” He finishes the dance doing what just the song repeats at the end, “Never let, Never ever let her go”. My back towards his chest and his face tucked away in my neck holding me tight and not letting me go until the song ends. I look over at my girl and she smiles at me. Giving me the seal of approval letting me know I did awesome. So I walk back to the bar and Light Blue follows. We have a few more drinks and chat. We talk about our present lives and future ambitions. We talk about silly things like embarrassing moments and the most disgusting thing you ever done when you were a child. He showed me the side of him that I always wanted to know…his personality. Thinking to myself “Mmm Mr. Light Blue, how can a sista get next to you?”  I looked at the time and it was late, I finished up my conversation and told him that I will see him maybe next time. I signaled for my girl to let her know I was ready to leave and he grabbed my hand, whispered again in my ear and slipped his card into my purse. I told him thanks for the dance and I will think about calling him and that was that. Now, I guess you want to know what he whispered in my ear right? Well let’s just say that it was any woman’s dream and at the same time, every woman’s nightmare. He said “You don’t have to walk alone in this world. You’re much too much for that. Spend some time with me and I can show you what it is to be with a real man”. Let’s just say Mr. Light Blue, has me just a bit curious. It’s dangerous out here ladies, but if you have a “Light Blue” in your life. Let him treat you as you should be treated. If he turns out to be your king, great, if not….at least you had a good time. Good night for now, until next time…


© Brandi N. Anderson

It lingers on taunting me but pleasing my senses.

Its boldness with its determination to stay when your body has already left.

I come home from a day filled with stress ready to wash it all off and relax.

I find your scent waiting to welcome me pleasantly like wine, scented candles, soft music with melodic melodies playing in my ear.

Your scent on my pillow puts me under.

Your scent on my pillow makes me wonder how I got through those days without your scent on my pillow to calm me.

I can sometimes smell you throughout my day. Your scent travels inside me as if I inhaled you permanently.

Your scent engulfs me like the wings of an eagle. 

Your scent has the power to carry me away to foreign lands bringing me closer to my enchanted destiny.

Yes, your scent is hypnotizing, tantalizing, exotic, and strong.

Fierce with its persistence but gentle with its approach.

Your scent coaxes me to know thee in a new form…the King’s language.

Because thou has blessed thee with an aromatic libation cleansing my thoughts

of unwanted intoxications that blocks me from enjoy you!

Changing the pillow cases isn’t an easy task because I know with the change of the case

your scent is erased and my pillow scent is replaced by one of those commercial scents.

So I will wait patiently for you to return to place your head on my pillow.  

Leaving your scent for me to come home to, a few days of my aroma therapy.

Your scent on my pillow, your scent on my pillow, your scent on my pillow,



© Brandi N. Anderson


I can’t explain my thoughts of you as neatly as I want to.

You have this way about you that mystifies my mind leaving me thoughtless, I feel like a fool.

Your touch, your smell, your voice, your choice of words when you speak to me.

What is it about you that spellbounds me?

Maybe I am thinking too much, too heavily about the nature of you.

I have this wall built so tall that my lust for you eclipse my trust for you.

And I do want to trust you

I just need to know what it is, the mystery of you!

I feel weightless around you able to be carefree, be myself as God intended me to be.

Embracing the fullness of my femininity you weaken me to a state of clarity because I

see the man that once mystified me so clearly.

The walls are coming down, bricks falling all around me.

Now my trust overshadows my lust, you are more than just the He to my She.

You are the He that is in Me producing a fruit that never turns sour but

A bittersweet vine perfectly intertwined. That’s you and me!

Producing both pain and pleasure, an earthly casualty.


© Brandi N. Anderson

The Soul

Posted: May 1, 2014 in Poetry, Spiritual
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I am calm in a day full of drama.

My body aches with an emptiness I can only describe as pain.

But yet I am calm.

It must be because I know it is only temporary and pain has no permanent dwelling in my soul.

My soul only accepts happiness and love in the form of positive light.

So when negative darkness tries to eclipse this light, my soul fights and that is what causes the pain,

what causes my body to ache.

Allowing my soul to clean itself is a must.

I heard once that the eyes are the windows to ones’ soul, and I believe that.

So when people look into my eyes I want them to see the light: God.

You can’t clean these windows with Windex! No! No! No!

They can only be cleaned when one self-evaluates and gets a reality check.

Who gives the reality check, God. He speaks to us every day. Do we listen?

Sometimes, most never hear Him.

To simply put it, I am a soul presented in God’s image so it is a daily struggle of cleansing I must go through.

I am not as perfect as He would want me to be but I am not giving up.

I know that makes Him smile. You asked, “How do I know that”.

He continues to bless me abundantly. Never worrying about anything and always praying for everything. This is what I must remember to do.

I will be perfect in His image. My soul will be perfect in His image. Amen.


© Brandi N. Anderson

Your perception of me is a misconception concocted by the images your eyes see.

You need to evaluate and then validate to find the truth behind the eyes…the mind’s eye.

Enhance it, process it, review it and then submit it.

Analyze them thoroughly make sure you are hearing me when I say…you don’t know me.

‘cause to know me your perception of me will change to truth and the conception of me

will manifest itself in front of you.

It’s not that hard but it’s not easy, I am simple with a little complexity.

Makes life fun don’t you think?

I am but an empty canvas for God to paint His perfect Will for my life on.

His strokes of the brush move chaotically over the canvas as colors combine

forming shapes and lines until He say’s “It is finish.”

I am a work in progress, a woman being reborn to become that woman I am called to be.

So don’t let your misconception silence your questions.

The answers to those questions can clear up some of those misconceptions,

that is if you ask them.

A closed mouth doesn’t get fed and so a closed book doesn’t get read.

So here I am, a book, open me up and take a look.

© Brandi N. Anderson

My Essence

Posted: May 1, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

I am distinctly beautiful.

Each layer of me unfolds the mystery that is me.

Not that I have many layers but I am woman and as a woman

I change metaphysically.

You can’t place me in a box or in a set of circumstances that I can’t

Get out of.

My Essence won’t allow that.

See my power derives from the divine and I will shine for as long

As He allows me to and in that…I don’t mind.

My Essence in essence is a substance with new ingredients being added

With every stripe I receive.

My growing confidence is a direct result of the woman I am to be.

My blueprint is encoded in several different languages.

No I am not trying to be difficult but I am a woman who will reach nations

So my design had to be more complex if I am to do this without hesitation.

My Essence spills over into your cup as you take a sip of my genetic make-up.

Can you taste my characteristics, can you smell my attributes, do you know

What My true Essence is?

If not get to know me and you will see My Essence revealed.

-© Brandi N. Anderson

My Vision

Posted: May 1, 2014 in Motivation
Tags: , ,

I am inclined to sit in my chair and think about past loves that didn’t share my vision.

Dreams and ambitions, reaching goals that prayer brought into fruition.

These past loves didn’t see things my way, yes I tried to sway their thoughts and make them into my mold, my vision.

My eyes were blinded by my ambition to see the sunshine in men with cloudy skies blocking their sun from shining. I am further now convinced that even if their skies were clear that their sunlight would be dull in comparison to mine which would have made even bigger problems…their intimidation of mine.

Love is not a competition; I have no energy to compete. Stop competing with your blessing it’s cooperation that will find loves key and unlock our beautiful mystery.

My soul yearns for its mate not just a casual or a “just because I’m bored” date with wine, roses, and maybe a slice of my favorite… strawberry cheesecake. 

Don’t get me wrong, those dates are fun and sometimes informative but when I sum them all up I come up with negative options because they subtract from me.

I need options that will Add and Multiply the essence of me thus creating infinite possibilities for our union that can be divided amongst our children.

Indeed…I am inclined to leave from this chair because my vision is ever clear and someone who matches my sunlight will appear. When he does I hope he brings me a pair of dark shades because we have to be able to see each other…right?

©Brandi N. Anderson  March 2011