Posts Tagged ‘love’

Instant relationships seem to be very common these days. The longing to be with someone or to say that you have someone pressures people into these kinds of relationships. Being a single woman in her 30’s can be quite challenging. We are at an age where if we don’t have children, we start to think of having children because of the proverbial “clock” is ticking. However, we also don’t want to settle down
with someone just because he may seem at first glance a great catch. Lately, I have encountered men
who want instant relationships. They seem to want relationships after the first or second date…seriously, they do. I would like to know what happened to the days where you met someone, you went out on a few dates and during the process you actually got to know a person. You had a chance to study their habits as well as actually fall in love with them. Actually, the most recent date I went on felt more like a job interview than anything but I am happy that it went the way it went. I was able to find out things about him that his “resume” didn’t tell me about like his possessiveness. Let’s just say that I can see why he’s been single for 8 years. I would like to get to know someone naturally and fall in love with them. I don’t want to be rushed through the process. I am not saying that it should take someone a month or 2 to say that you are exclusive with someone, but what I am saying is that a person shouldn’t expect for you to become exclusive after the first date! Learn the difference between being alone and lonely. It is truly a difference and being alone isn’t all bad. Especially if you are settling with someone who doesn’t know you and you don’t really know them. I am not saying that these relationships don’t work, some actually do. However, I know quite a few that are nightmares, they are rosy looking on the outside but dark and dreary on the inside. I enjoy the initial excitement of meeting someone new and in order for me to progress forward with a person I must see something beyond the initial meeting. I will not however commit to someone without getting to know them. Have fun getting to know me. Learn what quirks, figure out some things about me that may annoy you, learn my favorite things, find something in my life that you can gradually include yourself in. Trust, I will do the same for you. But life isn’t a movie or song, The movie or songs are inspire by life’s events but those life event’s usually took some months and years in the making, not 2 dates…lol! Enjoy the process of dating. Finding your life partner can be difficult but what is more difficult is having to end something with someone that you probably shouldn’t have been with in the first place. Slow down and enjoy the process! Your King or Queen are on their way. Get yourself right first in order to attract that person.

© Brandi Anderson

Spiritual Warfare is a subject that I believe takes years to understand so I encourage you to study it yourselves so that you too can equip yourselves appropriately. Spiritual Warfare is taking a stand against the evil in this world. It begun in Heaven when God defeated the devil and sent him away. Jesus was giving to us humans as our protector and savior from evil forces. When He ascended to Heaven, He left with us the Holy Spirit, the comforter. The Holy Spirit dwells in each and every one of us. We don’t have to go looking for the Spirit, all we have to do is accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we will obtain the Holy Spirit. Now feeling the Holy Spirit move in you is where the work comes in. That work is studying the Word of God and walking in the way of the Lord which is something we have to do daily. The devil uses many tricks to tempt us away from God. He tempts us with luxuries, material gains, jealousy, lies, a host of things that will cause us to not act righteously in the eyes of the Lord. The biggest tool the devil can use against us is ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. If you truly knew how much God loved you, if you really knew and believed His love for you, you would do what Jesus did on that mountain and deny the devil entry into your soul. You have to resist the devil but you can’t resist the devil if you brush him off as any old thing. The devil is real, evil is real and you need to understand that. Once you understand that you have to understand that the devil will use anything in your life to get to you. Money, relationships, friendships, jobs, strangers, and your thoughts. All of this is fair game to the devil. Even though all of those examples I used are separate, they all tie into your thoughts. Your mind must be stayed on Jesus, your mind must be equipped and protected with the whole Armor of God.

How to protect yourself:

Ephesians 6:10- 18

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Verse 18 is a verse that is most important, a verse that I am reminded of during this writing. It is something that we must do every day if we don’t pray anything at all. We have to learn how to pray and give thanks daily. God wants our prayers and praises. He doesn’t just want our concerns and worries. God wants us to come to Him in the happy times just as much if not more than we do in our troubles. Imagine how you would feel after helping someone with something and they don’t say thank you. Doesn’t that just boil your blood at times? You will call them ungrateful and for some people, you actually cut them off. We should be happy that God doesn’t cut us off and He gives us many chances to get it right. So be grateful and give God the praises that He so deserves. We must also learn to pray for others more than ourselves as well. Praying for others is a form of love and love is what Jesus commissioned us to do. We must love one another and truly want the best for one another. Job 16:20-21

My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.

I chose Job because if you know anything about Job, Job was tested by God to display to the devil that we can defeat Spiritual Warfare. Job had everything taking away from him but with his last ounce of faith he resisted the devil. We can defeat the evils of this world because the evil in the Heavens was defeated. If we understand that the battle for our souls was already won and that we have the Victory! John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God never promised us an easy life but He did promise us a blessed life. You just have to understand what it means to be blessed and allow yourself to be blessed.

One more thing, learn to forgive. The devil loves for use to not forgive others. Unforgiveness is like a disease and it will kill us quicker than the one we supposedly hate or dislike.

The greatest thing you can do for an enemy of yours is to love them and release them.

© Brandi Anderson 2014

My Vision

Posted: May 9, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

I am inclined to sit in my chair and think about past loves that didn’t share my vision.

Dreams and ambitions, reaching goals that prayer brought into fruition.

These past loves didn’t see things my way, yes I tried to sway their thoughts and make them into my mold, my vision.

My eyes were blinded by my ambition to see the sunshine in men with cloudy skies blocking their sun from shining. I am further now convinced that even if their skies were clear that their sunlight would be dull in comparison to mine which would have made even bigger problems…their intimidation of mine.

Love is not a competition; I have no energy to compete. Stop competing with your blessing it’s cooperation that will find loves key and unlock our beautiful mystery.

My soul yearns for its mate not just a casual or a “just because I’m bored” date with wine, roses, and maybe a slice of my favorite… strawberry cheesecake. 

Don’t get me wrong, those dates are fun and sometimes informative but when I sum them all up I come up with negative options because they subtract from me.

I need options that will Add and Multiply the essence of me thus creating infinite possibilities for our union that can be divided amongst our children.

Indeed…I am inclined to leave from this chair because my vision is ever clear and someone who matches my sunlight will appear. When he does I hope he brings me a pair of dark shades because we have to be able to see each other…right?


©Brandi N. Anderson 

Being the “fairer” sex, being called insecure isn’t odd for women.  Most of us have been called insecure by a person we’ve dated at least once in our dating life.  However, the renaissance of the woman has given women more confidence in going for what they want and need, not taking no for an answer.  Men on the other hand have become less aggressive with life as a whole and taking on some meek traits that aren’t favorable to what was once known as being a man.  Now before you jump down my throat, I am not talking about all men but I will say that there are plenty of insecure men out in this world and it makes dating hard.

I have dated insecure men before in the past and I have a couple that are friends.  These men are attractive and have no reason to be insecure but just like beautiful women who were made to feel less than by their insecure man, the same has happen to these men.  I try to look back on the relationships with the men I had that were insecure.  I wanted to see if there was anything that I did that made them feel insecure.  One in particular brought about his own insecurities because he was the one cheating.  His mind was playing tricks on him and whenever I went out with the girls, didn’t answer my phone or stayed later at work than planned.  He would think I was out getting him back because that is what he felt he deserved. The other men I dated that were insecure didn’t cheat but they were cheated on and one was an older man.  Men think it is hard to date a woman that has been hurt in the past but I can honestly say men that have been hurt in the past our worse to deal with than women.  Men seem to take it harder, sometimes changing their entire character just to not get hurt again. Some men become less aggressive and don’t assert themselves in a relationship once they have been hurt by women.  (Side Note) Ladies, the words you speak to your man are very, very powerful.  If this man loves and adores you, trust me when I say that you have the power to build him up and to make him think that he is superman.  Don’t be afraid to love him and to puff him up.  Build him up with your words and don’t tear him down with them.

Back to the matter at hand, insecure men.  Ladies, in the beginning of dating we need to ask all of the important questions that we can.  Ask about their dating life and why some relationships ended.  If you two have gotten really close and are seeing a great deal of each other, don’t settle for the “It just didn’t work out” answer.  Try to find out if he has trust issues, pay attention to the signs:


Excessive texting or Calling (esp when he knows that you are busy)

Not wanting you to go out

How he handles your male friendships

How he handles your female friendships

His reaction to when you receive a text message or phone call

Him paying more attention to your social media accounts than you do

His need for constant approval from you

When he creates an argument out of nothing

Also when he puts you down


The way that I have dealt with insecure men in the past is that I looked at all that I was doing.  I made sure that I wasn’t behaving in a way to make him insecure.  I also reassured him that I was not the last woman he dated and that he should trust me based on my efforts and not something he experienced in the past.  When all else failed, I moved on.  I will not stay in something where there is no trust.  Contrary to popular belief, relationships aren’t built on the foundation of Love but they are built on the foundation of trust.  Love comes later.  Love is an action and much easier to perform than trust.  Think about it.


Until next time…


© Brandi Andersoncropped-jan-17.jpg

This was a short story I wrote almost 10 years ago.  Who knows, maybe I will write a part 2.  Tell me what you think.


Smooth music playing in the background as I wrap my lips around my straw, just enough to suck the potent liquid contained in the glass but not too hard to ruin my lips.

Ahh!!! Home girl know she hooked my Long Island up, just the way I like it, a little lime, lots of rum and you can’t forget the vodka, all top shelf.

I turn to watch the dance floor because it’s ballroom night.

We have the usual players, the kat with the matching hat, suit, and shoes. He just doesn’t know how much of a fool he looks, but hey if he likes it I love it.

Then we have the kat with the pony tail and he is balding in the front. Some people just don’t know when to give it up.

Then we have the kat who has it together. I mean he smells good, looks good, and speaks well. I love a man who can speak. He has on his light blue linen suit, bald shinny head, and a go-tee that drives all the women crazy when he looks their way.

We spoke a few times, just honest flirting but I wasn’t looking to get anything from it.

But today, brother man had it going on.

My girl finally walks in the door like she isn’t late and I told her to sit her procrastinating ass down and have a drink.

She proceeds to tell me about how her day went and how every man she passed today wanted her number. This is truly a typical day for her because my girl is fine but tonight I wasn’t paying to much attention to the conversation, I  was starring at “light blue”. So as soon as she was finished talking she caught a glimpse of who I was looking at and said “girl is that….” I said “yes it is T, that is Mr. Light Blue himself.” You see, my girl never met him before and I am sure she would like to get to know Light Blue, but I had to let her know, he is mine tonight. I told her to go mess with pony tail or matching man. Of course she saw a brother that fits her taste….the man who is buying all the drinks. That’s T, you gotta love her, there is no one like this woman.

So now once again I am at the bar alone but I know I won’t be for long. Because what I didn’t tell you is that as I was watching Light Blue dance the dance he does so well, he was looking at me too. So I fix myself, make sure the boobies are up and smiling, make sure the hair isn’t all frizzie, and I definitely make sure the breath is right as he is walking across the dance floor towards me. As he is walking, I can just hear music playing, it’s not the music in the club but it is his own music. Yes y’all, he has his own theme music, well, he does to me anyway. As he approaches me, he doesn’t look at me from head to toe but focuses on my eyes, he proceeds to ask me ”Why don’t you dance?”  I say, “baby I do dance, I just don’t ballroom but if you would like to teach me, you have to take it slow.”

He smiles and say’s, “Girl you got some game, but I will take it as slow as you need.”  He grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor. My girl Janet song was just finishing up, “Enjoy Yourself” and the Temptations version of “Some Enchanted Evening” came on.

This is one of my favorite songs and perfect to ballroom to. He whispers in my ear “Just follow me, let me lead you just be free”. We start close and I can feel his chest up against mind. He takes two steps back, so I follow, he spins me out, and I flow with it. He twirls me back in but now I am behind him. He steps slowly to the right, and spins me to the right. We dance like this through the entire song and I am thinking to myself, “You are ballrooming girl.” He finishes the dance doing what just the song repeats at the end, “Never let, Never ever let her go”. My back towards his chest and his face tucked away in my neck holding me tight and not letting me go until the song ends. I look over at my girl and she smiles at me. Giving me the seal of approval letting me know I did awesome. So I walk back to the bar and Light Blue follows. We have a few more drinks and chat. We talk about our present lives and future ambitions. We talk about silly things like embarrassing moments and the most disgusting thing you ever done when you were a child. He showed me the side of him that I always wanted to know…his personality. Thinking to myself “Mmm Mr. Light Blue, how can a sista get next to you?”  I looked at the time and it was late, I finished up my conversation and told him that I will see him maybe next time. I signaled for my girl to let her know I was ready to leave and he grabbed my hand, whispered again in my ear and slipped his card into my purse. I told him thanks for the dance and I will think about calling him and that was that. Now, I guess you want to know what he whispered in my ear right? Well let’s just say that it was any woman’s dream and at the same time, every woman’s nightmare. He said “You don’t have to walk alone in this world. You’re much too much for that. Spend some time with me and I can show you what it is to be with a real man”. Let’s just say Mr. Light Blue, has me just a bit curious. It’s dangerous out here ladies, but if you have a “Light Blue” in your life. Let him treat you as you should be treated. If he turns out to be your king, great, if not….at least you had a good time. Good night for now, until next time…


© Brandi N. Anderson

It lingers on taunting me but pleasing my senses.

Its boldness with its determination to stay when your body has already left.

I come home from a day filled with stress ready to wash it all off and relax.

I find your scent waiting to welcome me pleasantly like wine, scented candles, soft music with melodic melodies playing in my ear.

Your scent on my pillow puts me under.

Your scent on my pillow makes me wonder how I got through those days without your scent on my pillow to calm me.

I can sometimes smell you throughout my day. Your scent travels inside me as if I inhaled you permanently.

Your scent engulfs me like the wings of an eagle. 

Your scent has the power to carry me away to foreign lands bringing me closer to my enchanted destiny.

Yes, your scent is hypnotizing, tantalizing, exotic, and strong.

Fierce with its persistence but gentle with its approach.

Your scent coaxes me to know thee in a new form…the King’s language.

Because thou has blessed thee with an aromatic libation cleansing my thoughts

of unwanted intoxications that blocks me from enjoy you!

Changing the pillow cases isn’t an easy task because I know with the change of the case

your scent is erased and my pillow scent is replaced by one of those commercial scents.

So I will wait patiently for you to return to place your head on my pillow.  

Leaving your scent for me to come home to, a few days of my aroma therapy.

Your scent on my pillow, your scent on my pillow, your scent on my pillow,



© Brandi N. Anderson


I can’t explain my thoughts of you as neatly as I want to.

You have this way about you that mystifies my mind leaving me thoughtless, I feel like a fool.

Your touch, your smell, your voice, your choice of words when you speak to me.

What is it about you that spellbounds me?

Maybe I am thinking too much, too heavily about the nature of you.

I have this wall built so tall that my lust for you eclipse my trust for you.

And I do want to trust you

I just need to know what it is, the mystery of you!

I feel weightless around you able to be carefree, be myself as God intended me to be.

Embracing the fullness of my femininity you weaken me to a state of clarity because I

see the man that once mystified me so clearly.

The walls are coming down, bricks falling all around me.

Now my trust overshadows my lust, you are more than just the He to my She.

You are the He that is in Me producing a fruit that never turns sour but

A bittersweet vine perfectly intertwined. That’s you and me!

Producing both pain and pleasure, an earthly casualty.


© Brandi N. Anderson